I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
