we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
