I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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