He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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