I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
