I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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