Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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