her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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