I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
