you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
