The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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