Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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