My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
