My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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