i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
