Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
