i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize