Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
