But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
