Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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