some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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