I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
