dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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