My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
