Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize