"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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