just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
