Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
