Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Green mimosas i think yes
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We need to get me chipped asap
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
