She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
