Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
