By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
