Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
