What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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