No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
