But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
