She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
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So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
BRING THE BAGELS
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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