honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
