Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
