my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
