you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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