Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
