So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
