U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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