literally had 100 drinks last night.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's official drugs can't kill me
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
