This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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