I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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