I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I love you. Go after that dick
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
