What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
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I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
do herpes really smell.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
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On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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