i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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