On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You're like the curious george of whores
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
