Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
don't judge my taste in strippers
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
