You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
