My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The Olympian is in my bed
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
