He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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