Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
