At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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